~ Sakitnya tu Di SINI ~

Lately i feel really bored..giving up..cry a lot..too many question inside my head..kadang sa rasa sa terlampau strict..but, as a women that jealosy is normal..

Feeling like he care someone (other women) more than he do to me..or its just my feeling..only god know how much this pain inside me..

A Journey with Shaklee.

Happy weekend all!!! hehe..haha..lupakan status meroyan sa di fb sa baru2 ni..start niari 99% status or post sa hanya akan berkisar tentang #Shaklee so, peringatan kepada mereka2 dlm prenlist sa yg anti dgn #shaklee buli la unfriend or block seja sa..hehe..1% mybe status meroyan, haa Saya kenal shaklee 1tahun lebi yg lalu...honestly, sblm ni sa mmg langsung tidak tahu pun kewujudan ni product..kalau kakak sa ndak suruh sa tanya kawan2 sa mmg kompom smpi niari pun sa x akan tahu....ari tu tlg kakak tanya vit. khas tuk dia sambil2 tu trs sekali sa tanya supplement sesuai tu masalah hormon..period yg irregular..my long time problems..huhu..kadang stress jg fikir...tanya punya tanya akhirnya GLA Complex jd 1st supplement shaklee yg sa try..3 minggu pengunaan kesan positif sa terima....thanks god! another point yg buat sa mau kenal & cuba another supplement..;) 2nd supplement sa try set Kurus bajet..sa aAlfafa, Lecithin & Peppermint ginger plus. 1 Week pengambilan saya hampir give up!! selera bertambah..alergic keluar..mata merah & yang paling teruk Demam panas..what happen?? sa tanya dealer sa..rupanya pa yg sa alami tu adalah roses penyembuhan atau pun Healing Crisis..mmg salah saya juga..kurang minum air..hehe..nasib baik saya jenis yang bukan cepat melatah & trus stop..sayang baitu..duit ko hasil titik peluh sendiri tuk kasi bili tu vitamin..3weeks pengunaan..sa perasaan saiz badan semakin kecil wpun berat x kurang..hehehe.. Bcomplex is my 3rd supplemen. actually sa ambik tuk kasi bagi sa tenaga supaya kurang sikit tu tenaga..tapi kesan ketara yang sa rasa adalah im Stressless..betul2 siok..tenang jak tu kepala utak..happy...sa ble handle kerja opis tanpa rasa tertekan..and Bcomplex jadi favourite supplement sa..hehe.. Kesan2 positif ni la yg buat sa tertarik hati mau kenal apaiti #Shaklee..so, Oct 2013 sa register jd member shaklee..awal2 lagi ni kenen sa c tau upline sa si #MummyVincci yang sa x mau bejual2..hahaha..saya mmg anti MLM..asal jak ada urg mau bwa sa jd member direct selling mmg kompom NO jawapan sa..tapi kan yg siok dia wlupun x niat mau buat bisness tapi order tetap masukk..hahaha..tanpa sedar tu..lama2 macam lain tu feeling..sbb kan sebelum ni sa mmg rasa rendah diri sangat..sa malu mau ctau orang sa bejualan..sbb sa x dpt terima hakikat kalau sa promote drg tapi ndak kana bili...hahaha..funny jg la ingat mula2...Upline & group member yg awesome yg bg sa keyakinan...sbb sa tahu bukan sa saturang jak yg ada feel malu tem mula2..hehe.. Hampir setengah supplement sa sdh try..hee..Vitamin C, Vit E, Vita Lea, Perfomance, ESP, Chinch Shake Choco & Latte, Omega guard dannnn 2nd Fav sa iaitu Ostematrix!! why OSTEMATRIX?? pasal dia buat sa tidur lena & no more sembelit...masalah sa dari dulu..haha..mmg berpenyakitan ni sa..kalau dulu mybe 2-3 kali seminggu jak jumpa Mr.Tan..sekarang EVERYDAY..sa sukaaa..;) Today sa start Collagen & Vivix!! alang2 promo Collagen..hehe..next mth mahal sdh haraga..hee..Ehhhhh..lupa pla sa mo ctau kamurang Set Penjagaan kulit muka Nutriwhite is the best!!!..hehe..im using it now...dalaman & luaran kena jaga beiii..;) Buring sdh kamurang?? hahaha..misti ada yg cakap sa sengaja ni kan puji2 shaklee..You try and you'll know..hehe..Ngam2 promo #mealshake sma #collagen ni bulan..bahh kalau mau tau butul ka ndak apa yg sa bilang jum whatsapp sa..sa tau kamurang apal sdh tu kan num telipun sa tapi kamu pura2..hahaha..Mau join group ohsem kami pun buli..;) Bahhhh..makann..hee..nanti lps ni talan Omega Guard..;)

...Finally!! The CROWN Find its Owner...

Harvest festival this year officially over Yesterday! Which has been held at KDCA Hall,penampang and Now have to wait for the next Kaamatan on 2012..

Even its End but for all the sabahan the moods is still On and sometimes its only stop at the end of June.. Mean The ARAMAITEE is still alive!!!

I been there too.. But only on 30th..

The place is really crowded!! The Weather is HOTT!! and we park our car too far coz there's no more space for us! and that makes us to walk around 15minute under the sun just to go there.. huh!! And i almost surrender..luckily the kaamatan's mood is strong that day.

Even its Hot still the place really awesome!! and at least i have something to say here..haa!!

Tired but Fun!

Walking around..stop by at food stall..walking again..then stop again..eating & drink...

same thing!! hahahha!

Too many tasty local food there..Dunno what to choose..so lastly we only eat ' Nasi Ayam' [ white rice + fried hicken] Not that delicious..but what to do..no mo table & chair for us at the other stall...haa..! its really Full!! Menyesal juga la..huhuh!

The Kaamatan peak was yesterday ( 31th may)..

But i didnt manage to go there..i cannot imagine walking under the hot sun...

being around with so many people and the most matter is PARKING!

tak sanggup nak jalan jau2..hahahha..!

So here i wanna put the top 7 Unduk ngadau that manage to go to Final..

Miss Bo Tiza A. Disimon

From : Penampang

The Winner For Unduk Ngadau 2011

Personal Point Of View :

She got a beautiful smile..Nice Body! If im a man She will be my dream..beautiful!!

But Honestly She is not listed to my Favourite Unduk.. For me there is someone else deserve to be the owner of that beautiful Crown.. Maybe thats is her luck!! Nway, Congratss Miss Bo Tiza!!

Miss Jovenea Jim Lajim

From : Tamparuli

1st Runner Up

Personal Point Of View :

Just Nice!! Beautiful Costume..! Never cross my mind that She manage to be top 7 and won the 1st runner up.. But, People says..the things that we dont care is the things that suddenly makes us care.. ( Ngam kaitu) Antam jak la..haa...

Miss Caroline Anthony

From : Tuaran

2nd Runner Up

Personal Point of View :

Honestly She's the One that i thought became the winner..Her beauty really charm!!! i love the eyes..and mostly the smile..!! even without make up she's still looking hot!! Thats what attracts me most!..If people ask who do you think would win? I says TUARAN..hee..not because im from TUARAN but she is Beautiful with IQ.. even just manage to be 2nd runner up still im happy!!

Miss Sophie A. Kutam

From : Ranau

4th place

Personal Point Of View :

She is the 2nd person that i been listed as the winner!! Sexy face!! there's something that makes me adore her.. i expect her to be the 1st runner up behind UN Tuaran.. But, what to do..the competition was really tough! and i still can smile that she manage to go to final stage and be in 4th place even im not that statisfied with the result.. Never mind!! Try again Next year..!

Miss Racheal M.

From : Kota Kinabalu

5th Place

Personal Point Of View :

Just Nice..Nice Costume..! just an ordinary face..nothing can attract me..Btw , she got her own beauty..But, she is not listed in my list..

( I like that Dusun Kota belud costume!! )

Miss Alvera Raymond

From : Sandakan

6th Place

Personal Point Of View :

Just Nice!.. Not in my list!

Miss Adeline Joyce M.

From : Likas

7th Place

Personal Point Of View :

Cute!! That the only word i can say..hee

So many Negative & Positive comment about the result!! its really Hot like Kuih Pisang! everyone try to tell their own point of view without watching theirs own words..! Came On la guys!! Everyone have their rights to say but please do put your sensitivity with others feelings!..no need to show you anger here.. You only make its worst.. your words reflect your ownself.. So becareful wit what you says..!

I feel like 'HUH!!' what the hell they a talking rubbish here.. Really Childish! Fighting like a they are the right one..! Stop it and accept all the result.. Everyone have their own Luck.. So, this year its Miss Bo Tiza A. Disimon time.. So lets Cherish its..Even she is not one of my Favourite but still i can see that She got that charm!! and im still Happy coz My Fav contestant Miss Caroline Anthony & Miss Sophie A. Kutam manage to go to final..

Ok la..im tired already reading every comment about the Harvest Festival..wanna stop here..! Cant wait to celebrate the Harvest Festival 2012! So guys stop your words now and save it for next year..hahahahh!

So, Cheers Everyone!!! Jan marah2 aah..nanti cepat tua ooo..! Apa2 pun ARAMAITEE!!!

P/S : Congratulation To Miss Bo Tiza Disimon for being crowned as The 2011 Unduk Ngadau!!!

[ Thanks To David Chg For letting me using His picture! Anyone Who interested to use him as a photographer can call at this Number : 016 - 847 8745 or Just add him on FB and his page ]

..JEALOUS itu penting ka?..

orang kata ' kita perlu buang rasa cemburu itu..'..

tapi macam mana kita tahu dia sayang kita kalau dia tak tunjuk yang dia tu cemburu??

As for me..i get jealous with him almost everyday...im a bad GF..haa..what to do..huh!

i try to act as usuall..but still i cant...so scared!..

i do believe him but i just cant believe myself..

-------------------------------------------------

i always wanna be someone who can say ' I DONT WANT TO CARE'..

but the problem is i care everything..

susahnya nak hilang kan rasa geram dan marah dalam masa yang singkat..

mesti feeling ni berlarutan sampai esok dan lusa..

kadang rasa bersalah juga bila dia layan i dengan baik tapi i buat deh jak..

ni semua gara2 geram kat dia lar..

kalau lar dia pujuk and ajak i tengok wayang kan bagus..hee..

terubat juga lar rasa marah tu..:)

huh! Rain2...asyik2 layan masalah ni..

cam mana ek nak ilang kan suma tu...

rasa jealous , marah , geram...suma lar..

-------------------------------------------------

i just dunno what to do..

i always blaming myself for acting like this..

JEALOUS! please get out!..

I love him so much! thats why i get jealouse..

even i know he is only joking still the feels attack me..:(

i wanna be the SLUMBER gf..

the BFF aka GF..an acting like it is something precious moment that we shared together..

accepting everything happen around us..

But , So sorry Dear..i just cant be 100% like that..

sorry coz you have to face my mysterious mood sometimes..

i will try to slow down but dont ask me not to get JEALOUS or ANGRY for everything you do..

i just want you to know that not all things i can accept..

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

-------------------------------------------

I hope you're the last person i get jealous..

p/s: i just cant wait WEEKEND to come..coz that is the only day i can hang out with you..teasing you..dating with you and of coz its time to ' MANJA - MANJA' with you..(^-^)

..Hati berbicara lagi..

..teruskan berjalan...

..teruskan tersenyum..

..teruskan ketawa..

..teruskan menangis...

" DON'T STOP"..

--------------------------------

..kan bagus jika aku dapat buat semua itu dengan jayanya..

"TERUSKAN" walaupun aku tahu aku sudah tidak mampu..

ntah la..tapi hidup ini selalu sangat menguji kekuatan hati dan jiwa aku..

dia mencari setiap kelemahan ku dan berusaha menumpaskan ku..

kekadang terasa ingin menyerah kalah..tapi tiap kali itu juga aku teringat satu ayat..

".. Semua hal yang berlaku itu ada hikmahnya.."

walau payah untuk hati kecil ini terima..

--------------------------------

ermm..tetau pa nak cerita sebenarnya..berusaha nak buang " blues feeling" aku ari ni..

hari berlalu dan aku makin terasa boring yang teramat sangat kat sini..

kalau boleh nak sangat hantar surat berhenti sekarang juga..

aku dah tak happy keja sini da Encik Traffic light!!..

Boring da nak menghadap benda yang sama cam besa..

kekadang aku rasa yang aku seperti makan gaji buta jak..HUH!!.

lambatnya masa berlalu..tak tunggu ujung bulan..

walau macam mana sekali pun i'll do it this time..

tak nak tangguh2 lagi.. Hopefully, after that my life would be more better..

even i know that my life would be more tough than before..

----------------------------------

Hello CINTA!! ~ start missing Him already..

we been together almost 7 month by next week..and im thanking God for that..

even sometimes i feel lost but still i wanna hold the promises that we've made together..

THE PLAN that we create..i do really hope its happen! cant wait for the day to come..

----------------------------------

Semalam yang berlalu benar2 mengajar aku tentang CINTA..

walaupun mungkin orang bilang pengalaman itu cuma sebesar kuman..

tapi bagi aku ia sangat besar..sebesar dunia ini..

walau macam mana sekali aku cuba untuk lupakan masa lalu namun aku masih gagal..

banyak hal yang berlaku yang buat aku tidak akan lupa memori itu..

sakit hati, marah, benci , putus asa..

semuanya ku alami...

Kenangan itu benar2 buat aku jadi seperti orang lain...

Huh! Biarlar..walau susah sekali pun aku akan cuba buang semua kenangan itu..

Sudah masa nya untuk aku lepaskan semua itu..

~SELAMAT TINGGAL KENANGAN~

------------------------------------------

Wahai CINTA! cuma kamu yang ada di sini...

di HATI ini..mungkin 7 bulan itu masih terlalu awal..

tapi aku yakin kamu la DIA yang HATI ini nantikan...

walau kekadang kita bertelingkah namun kita tetap utuh..

..Maaf jika setiap saat aku membebankan..

..Maaf jika setiap saat aku menjengkelkan..

..Maaf jika setiap saat aku merimaskan..

..Maaf jika setiap saat kata - kata ku buat kau terasa..

bukan niat di hati cuma terus terang HATI terlalu takut kehilangan..

-------------------------------------

Janji ya..yang kamu akan tetap jadi DIA selamanya...

Dia yang bersama-sama dengan HATI ini melayari suka duka hidup..

Dia yang akan menangis dan ketawa bersama...

Dia yang akan membuat HATI ini terhibur dengan gelak tawa mu..

aku nantikan gurau senda mu setiap kali berjumpa...

Hidup akan hilang serinya tanpa itu semua...

--------------------------------------

I only wanna says " YES, I DO" to only YOU..

no one else can take my heart anymore..

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MR. RONALD!..

------------------------------------

P/S: Wahai masa..cepat lar berlalu..Aku penat menunggu ' HARI ' itu tiba..

- The FACEBLOG!! -

FACEBLOG???...

i baru ja tahu pasal benda ni..nak try lar..heee..

ketara sangat kan yang i suka sangat dengan ayat ni - " BLOG"..

FACEBOOK + BLOG = FACEBLOG..hee..

sesiapa yang addict sangat kat FACEBOOK & BLOG do join this..hee

i join this..nak tahu juga macam mana cara nya berblog dengan ni..

see you guys there..(^_^)

-Thought for the EARLY MORNING that i tought still NIGHT-

[Princess Rain : Wahai Hujan, tak sakit ke badan kalau asyik turun tak henti - henti??]

it's 1.30am in the morning...i cant sleep!! uarrgghhh! what happen this..

im not sleepy..im not yawning..my eyes open wide!!!

ni mesti gara2 penangan IPOH KOPI PUTIH...

ari ni dah masuk ari ke 2 ai minum minuman ni..

and guess what??yesterday i sleep at 3am...

i should stop drinking that..i guess..

tak ble tahan..akibatnya pegi keja dengan wajah ngantuk..

dah lah bangun lambat tiap hari..

kalau ari2 minum gerenti jadi MRS. PANDA la ai..:))

Si Hubby dah tido sejam yang lepas..sempat lagi ai dengar dia berdengkur kat telefon..

Owh! so Cute!!...suddenly missing Him..:((

tak sabar nak dating nanti malam..nak pegang2 boroi dia..(^_^) Boleh??

~.. Senyum nakal..~

alah tak yah nak fikir len2 lar...hee'

hak masing2 nak buat apa pun kan..:))

Weekend is our time...iwill go and stay at his house..with his family..

maybe some of you think that its not good..

but im an open minded person.. hak masing2..keputusan di tangan sendiri right?

but i wont say you wrong...:))

your right to says what on ur mind..upsss! cam slogan FACEBOOK la pula kan..hee

ermm..akhirnya A PIECE HEART OF ME ada page !! Sila singgah sekejap ya..jangan lupa tekan BUTANG SUKA..(^-^)..

da lama da try nak buat tapi ai masih tak pandai2..Tapi berkat usaha gigih akhirnya pada 7hb April 2011 termetrai la sudah KEKASIH GELAP ku...ai sangat2 berterima kasih pada suma kengkawan yang telah menSUDIkan jari mereka mengklik BUTANG SUKA dengan tikus masing2...hee..HAPPY!

Ermm..tepat jm 2am..! Nak tido lar..paksa mata ai yang kiut ni tuk tutup..uargghhh!! ( menguap cara taip) hee..

I tido dulu k...

Tunggu kedatangan post ai ya.. MUNGKIN NANTI besok ai rajin nak menaip..apa2 pun selamat tidur !!ZZZZzzzzZZZzz..

p/s : Si hubby...sori tadi ai tak sempat nak KISS, says I LOVE YOU & NITE...sebab ai tak sampai ati nak setopkan bunyi 'CUTE' itu walaupun pada realitynya telinga sakit..:)) But, the sound make me miss you damn much!!! tadi ai sempat lagi dengar SUARA MACHO kegemaran Hubby...I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! believe me...

..Saya tertidur terlentang di sudut ' KEHIDUPAN '..

KEHIDUPAN selalu sangat mengetuk pintu hati..menganggu emosi yang sedang cuba untuk berusaha mengapai keindahan senyuman..sering kali saya lemah dan jatuh menangis di sudut2 KEHIDUPAN ini..

payahnya..~

Jika tahu ia sesusah ini ingin saja sa kembali ke rahim ibu dan tinggal di sana selamanya.. Bolehkah??

Bodoh!! ~ terasa diri sangat BODOH bila PUTUS ASA!.. Cuba untuk senyum tapi sedih lebih dulu singgah di wajah ini..

Bisakah saya dapat apa yang saya inginkan??..

Bisakah impian sa yang sa cipta sendiri saya kecapi dengan kegembiraan??..

Bisakah CINTA yang sa cipta ini berkekalan??..

Banyak sangat persoalan yang berlegar2 di kepala..

terasa nak tangkap saja tanda2 soal dan buang jauh2..biar KEHIDUPAN ini lebih tenang tanpa semuanya..Boleh ka begitu??

Saya tidak minta lebih untuk kehidupan ini..yang saya mahu cuma ' MEREKA ' dan ' DIA'..

sebab saya tahu yang saya akan ' MATI' tanpa orang - orang ini...

Orang2 yang bersama2 berkongsi ceritera KEHIDUPAN...

MEREKA + SAYA + DIA = NAFAS KEHIDUPAN

..tanpa NAFAS ini saya mungkin ORANG MATI yang HIDUP berjalan seperti biasa..

Saya seperti orang lain..ingin kan KEHIDUPAN yang menjadi rebutan warga dunia..

tapi mungkin bukan nasib saya untuk dapat semuanya..

dan akibatnya saya tertidur terlentang di sudut KEHIDUPAN bersama - sama dengan sedikit ' 'HADIAH' yang saya kira cukup untuk saya gunakan sehingga tarikh akhir

KEHIDUPAN saya..Apa yang penting USAHA untuk menambah ' HADIAH ' itu harus ada..

Penat , tekanan & putus asa itu kan penambah rasa walaupun kekadang ia meracuni TUBUH & JIWA kita..

Cemburu dengan sesetengah orang yang bisa mencari ' HADIAH ' yang tersembunyi dengan senang...teringin nak curi formula2 dan resipi2 Kehidupan mereka.. Tapi saya bukan mereka..

Jiwa lemah...Hati sakit...Mata menangis..

Saya tidak kuat..

Saya takut akan GAGAL sebelum UJIAN...

SEMANGAT tolong bantu saya..

Tolong saya hadapi KEHIDUPAN ini...saya penat tidur tanpa SELIMUT..

saya mahu PERISAI untuk menjadi kuat dan tabah!..

Begini la Manusia seperti saya..selalu mengeluh pabila masalah terasa semakin menghampiri..

Mungkin sebab telah banyak dosa yang saya buat sehingga cabaran yang di hadapi terasa sangat berat...

" i rarely thanks HIM for every GIFT he gave to me.. i never seen HIM.. so many times i failed and i blaming HIM for that.. God, im sorry for all that...Give me strength fo face all this matter..and please help me this one last wish.. Please DONT BREAK IT.. i really need your help..this is the only DREAM i wish.."

Tuhan itu sangat adil..dan saya tahu dia telah rancang segala - galanya untuk saya.. walaupun suatu hari nanti ia bukan seperti apa yang saya telah rancang tapi saya akan tetap bersyukur kerna saya tahu itu adalah ANUGERAH KEHIDUPAN saya yang sangat tinggi di hayat ini..

~ Wahai CINTA.. jika kamu adalah DIA yang saya impikan saat ini..tolong ingatkan saya bahawa kamu adalah HADIAH terindah buat saya saat ini..Saya akan lupakan mereka yang lain dan akan tetap SETIA bersama kamu.. Cuma KAMU yang bisa buat saya bermimpi Indah dan ketawa riang..menangis gembira dan sedih sakit... dan saya inginkan kamu adalah DIA yang akan memimpin tangan saya pada saat saya menghampiri tarikh akhir hidup saya...~

p/s : Hubby..if only you know that you're the most priority in my life now.. Please be strong..i know we can do it as long as we try hard and be positive..im scared to but all we have to do now is be patient and strong... Love you So much!

.. DILEMA..

sa geram...!!! tetau sama dia or sama diri sendiri...
tapi yang pasti hati sa sakit saat ini...
i pretend again!! haizzz!!!...
geram sebab pa yg sa harap tidak kesampaian...
dalam kepala cuma hal ni saja...
mungkin bagi dia 'NEXT TIME' masih ada...
tapi bagi saya itu satu hal yg belum pasti...
he dont know what would happen tommorow...
and i dont know when ' NEXT TIME' will appear again...
Hurmmm...! biarla..

' SAYA BELUM BERSEDIA' - this words keep spinning in my mind...
so many negative thoughts come..and im fighting with the positive one...
tetau kenapa ayat ni tetiba menusuk tul ni hati...its hurt...really hurt..
feel wanna cry..bnyk ni persoalan dlm kepala...

i really2 hope i 'll get something tht makes me smile when i told him this..
becoz i already plan to brings him to meet my family on this wedding day ..
but pa ble buat he have another plan too..on that day...
maybe next time...sa cuba pujuk ati sebenarnya..tapi...huh!! tetau napa sakit ni ati..
i really hope dia akan choose sa 1st then bru kawan2 dia...
walaupun dia cakap ' Tgk lu keputusan si Luke' but still i feels this so strong that
he will not join me...biar la..give him time until he really2 ready to meet my family..
like i do to his family...huh!! maybe sa manja sgt thts y i cant accept this things..
Coz..i already plan this for quite long time..since i says HE IS THE ONE..

HURMMM!! biar la...walaupun sa mengharap sangat tapi sa tetap terima if he choose to be with his
friends that day... i wont forcing him...walaupun nanti he says he want to follow me still i would says NO..becoz i know how its feel when we're in DILEMA... x ikhlas nanti dia that day..if he join me la.. ermm..hopefully luke's application is approved...if not means LABUAN is just a dream..:)
hurmm...biar la.. Next day still have for mr to go there..

Ermmm...biar la tu...Forget it Rain...hal remeh jan ka c jadi complicated..
hopefully 'NEXT TIME' will still have for us...
when?? dunno yet...maybe tommorow..next week..next month or next year..
No body Knows...Only God know..coz he is the one who plan our life...
God, Good Bless Us... Amen!!!


P/S : lega skit ni hati walaupun sebenarnya its hurt a lot...
i wont Forcing coz i dont like it too...

.. The Past..

i wake up early today...
i reach office more early than yesterday...
i taking bath early tooo..
i wonder why im doing something more early today..
but i havent taking my dinner yet..huhuh...

ari ni sampai kat opis kira awal lar..even i late 15mins...ok lar dari yang kelmarin2..selalu sampai opis dah nak dekat jm9..hee...bukan apa..cuma malas nak bangun tidur..selalu salah kan jammed if kena tanya pasal ape lambat sampai..hee...tp memang betul pun...:)

tadi petang sampai jak dari opis i terus tukar baju, ambik towel and mandi...heran..hee...
tak penah2 buat sebelum ni...selalu jm 8 to 9pm baru dok rajin nak pi mandi..tu pun dalam keadaan rela -paksa..hahahhah! siap mandi trus terlanding depan my lappy...hee..
actually nak p masak lepas mandi tu tapi tunang adik i da volunteer so bagi dia masak lar..hee
dalam hati senang la juga..coz memang i malas nak masak pun ari ni...

first benda yg i buat depan pc adalah mengecek email2, spam2 and pa2 la tuk gmail & yahoo i..
1450msg in Gmail????.. huh! maknanya nak kena delete satu2 la...haizz..such a boring things to do...pa ble buat..terpaksa...
sambil2 baca balik msg2 taun2 lepas yg masih belum terdelete..hee...i smile..hahha! lucu..!
tetiba kenangan lalu mengintai kembali...biarla..benda lepas jangan di kenang..
kenangan yg bakal d cipta tahun ini yg perlu di ingat...yeahhh!!!

Emm..saya merindui Dia...mesti main DOTA lg tu dia..biarla..i feel hungry actually...
lambat ooo derang masak..( Pa kaitan ni...whatever!! )
I Miss Him..huhuhu..!!dapat ka i dating sma Dia ni besok??..huh! arap2 la dapat...miss Him like crazy da ni..God, harap2 miracle ada besok..hee..! Amen..

emm..k la..enough tuk ari ni...dinner i dah siap..nak gi mamam lu k...see u next day!!

MUAXXXXX!!! for you Si Hubby... - LOVE U FOREVER..!

.. New Year Thoughts ..

" HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011"
- Terima Kasih Tuhan kerna saya masih lagi di beri kesempatan untuk tinggal di Dunia ini..bernafas dan bersama2 dengan orang2 yang saya cintai.. -

rasa2 macam da setahun tak update..haa..padahal baru beberapa hari je..
New Year..New Day..New Life & New Hope..
4 perkataan yang kerap kali muncul dalam kepala..

Maknanya usia bertambah setahun lagi..pengalaman hidup juga semakin bertambah..dan untuk pertama kali nya saya terfikir tentang kehidupan saya selepas ini...kebahagiaan juga matlamat hidup...terfikir untuk menamatkan cara hidup saya sebelum ini.. dalam menuju usia matang (26 thn tu dah kira matang ke?? ) ada satu benda yg mengusik hati nurani saya.. benda yang selama ini saya simpan dan elak.. kekadang rasa diri macam lucu..hahha..! tapi yang pasti hal ini semakin kuat berpaut pada luluh hati...OMG!! i think im getting matured already..hahahhah!

Tapi pada masa yang sama ketakutan itu mendahului segalanya..mengatasi segala keberanian yang selama ini saya pegang berabis...takut jika semua angan2 saya hancur dan pergi begitu sahaja..kerna sudah saya tetapkan angan2 ini adalah yang terakhir..biar macam mana sekali pun susah saya akan tetap berusaha..itu janji saya pada saat 2011 melabuh kan tirainya...

Orang2 sekitar asyik meluahkan azam2 baru mereka padahal benda itu sudah mereka jadi kan azam tahun lepas..saya juga begitu tahun2 lepas cuma pada tahun ini saya hanya ingin jadi diri saya yang sebenarnya..saya penat jadi hipokrit, Ego & Sombong pada diri sendiri...biar la pada tahun ini saya biarkan MASA membantu saya..bukan malas cuma saya penat untuk jadi seperti orang lain...

Huh..! titik airmata pertama untuk 2011 mengalir lagi.. yang pastinya saya rasa takut sangat..! kamu pasti tau apa yang saya maksudkan..saya takut kehilangan Si Dia...sejujurnya, Dia mempengaruhi 80% mood saya tahun ini...dan kalau boleh saya tidak mau kehilangan walau 1% pun.. Dia saya sudah kunci dengan kuat dalam hati...kalau pun nanti saya terpaksa buka balik biarla pada saat itu hati saya 100% rela..kerna saya tahu selepas ini hati saya akan jadi macam mana..

Memang susah mo percaya kalau saya bilang ' Saya mahu dia jadi sebahagian dari hidup saya selamanya ' - i want him to be the first one i saw every morning and the last one every nite...
saya mau dia jadi orang pertama yang saya bisa kongsi segala kesedihan dan kegembiraan saya... because i miss the way he talk to me... Honestly, i miss his Voice.. Everything lar..!!

i welcoming the New Year with Him..do you know how i feel?? im really2 happy..macam tia mo balik jak time tu..kalau boleh mau stay trus dengan dia.. i miss the 2 days together with him and his family..

Hubby,

As u know you're the most priority in my heart now..

i hope u know that..

no one can change the fact that im in love with you..

i accept all yours as the new years come..

im trully hoping that theres a miracle for us this years..

more happiness and love..

more patient and caring..

but the most things that i wish is i hope there is more trust between us..

i dont know what bothering you most but i do hope that its won't distrub us..

you're everything in my life now..

the most important 'THINGS' i wanna have..

Hubby,

im afraid to says ' YOU'RE MINE '

but i wish that you are tottaly mine..

i dunno how to express my feels actually..

but to tell you the truth that IM TRULLY IN LOVE WIT U!!

i know i already told you dis b4..

I LOVE U DAMN MUCH!!

no one can change you in me now..

i just hope something precious happen to my life this years...! thats what keep pop-in my mind..
i will do everything..sacrifice what i have even i have to cry a lot..i dont care anymore coz im serious this time..

God,

i let all my dreams to you..

help me this time..

i need an extra strenght so i can fight any bad things that distrub my plan..

i Love him and want him to be mine..

i need your help on that...

Thanks again for everything that you've plan for my life..

im happy and really thankful..

enough for today!! will update later..2011 will be mo challenging for me..and i will share it here..
everything..! the happy and sad moments..the laughter and the tears.. the smile and the hope..
and the most important is the LOVE and the DREAMS..


P/S : i miss u Hubby.. im thinking of you from the first entry till the end of this post..every moment is YOU!!..

..Christmas Is Coming..

.. 2 more days and CHRISTMAS is coming..i was so excited!!! will taking leave from 24th to 31hb..hee... a long Holidays!! i dont care as long as i have a time for my family and myself too..

So sad coz i cant celebrate it with my Hubby... But, Its ok.. Next year still have for us..hee.. cant wait..

.. Tahun ini bagi peluang diri masing2 celebrate sendirian.. Freedom for doing anything as long as we know the limit.. Dalam masa 2 hari ni i hope that i can make myself calm... dunno what is that..but something keep bothering me..hati ndak senang... Huh..! Relax Rain...!! dont make its become your bigger worries that disturbing your Christmas Mood.. i let myself become the old one just for this time... Hopefully everything in control.. i just need to refresh back the smell of CHRISTMAS that i used to feel before...i miss it so much..!! and i dont want anything disturbing me eventhough it is about someone i love... kalau boleh i dont want to think about it for that day..its time for us to celebrate the day with our own way.. He is with his Way and im with mine.. its didnt mean anything actually its just becoz i already promise to myself that i wont disturbing Him that day.. coz i know when i think about it too much it will ruined my days.. Sorry to says that..!

.. i wanna let this anger go from myself..its hurt to keep it...i wanna says it but i know nothing gonna change it too.. i know He will do that too even i says i dont like.. so the good conclusion is just stay that way and change one by one... and as for me of course i get mad but i keep telling myself that nobody is perfect and i have to accept it.. coz i know next time everything gonna be as what i wish...as i says before..i wont forcing Him.. as long as He know that i dont like thats was enough for me...i wont change people... let He changed by himself.. itu lagi POWER..!

.. Huh..! Enough about him..! hee.. 25hb we'll celebrate the Family Days VS Christmas Days.. im so exicted..! i miss family gathering..eating too much..singing..laughing..playing a games and of course its time to Chit Chat with thems... WhoooOOoo!! im on a good moods now..hee.. Cant waitttt!!!...

.. Will not update for a fews days..hee.. will come back at the end of the year..posting my last post on 2010.. Summary for the whole year.. so wait for me ya..

So i wish you all :-

** MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010 & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011**

- LOVE IS... -

Love is the greatest feeling,
Love is like a play,
Love is what I feel for you,
Each and every day,
Love is like a smile,
Love is like a song,
Love is a great emotion,
That keeps us going strong,
I love you with my heart,
My body and my soul,
I love the way I keep loving,
Like a love I can't control,
So remember when your eyes meet mine,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start.

New Year LOVE!!!

as the year go one step ahead so my age also...im going to 25 years this coming march...my family always ask me.." WHY NOT BRING YOUR BF HERE" ??..so the answer that i always use is " I HAVE NO BF, SO HOW CAN I BRING HIM HERE..??..and the feedback that they always give is that they say im too choosy...of course i am [ x la teruk sgt..] but, i just leave them with a big smile on face and telling them that someday i'll bring HIM to them...that's why sometime i hate balik kampung coz they'll ask me everything abt this...i don't like speaking abt something that i also not so sure...only God now who is suits to me..(",)

im not a choosy person actually..but if it's is because a PARTNER of a LIFETIME i should be...it's not easy for me to falling in love with a man...there's a lot of things i will think before choosing them..im not into a handsome , rich or tough man...i like someone SIMPLE...the one who can make me smile when i think of him..laugh because their jokes..touching with everything they do to me...the way they makes me feel comfortable whenever i am with him...i love my family and the way i live my life...and it will be an advantage if he got a same interest with me...i hate silence coz im a silent person but sometime too talkactive..

Once i fall in love.. the man will always stay HERE in my heart and mind...that's why im so cold sometimes to some people who come to me especially man..i don't like giving them hope..if i say i don't like means NO!..but if im happy and comfortable with him so it's means there's a hope for HIM!!...i dun like other people to introduce me..i like if i fall for him out of my control..the reason that i also dunno...:)

Maybe someday my turn will come again to feel how good , romantic and happy i am being a GF to someone...being treat as a princess like im dying tommorow...sometimes i feel jelouse seeing my friends & family members with their lovers...so cute!..crying alone becoz of that is always happen to me...[ and i always wish he come back to me...treat me like them..]..

New year...i hope it's brings a new hope to me...NEW LOVE that i wish to be the last!!..
God Bless Me!!...to YOU [ you that ever come to my life and change my whole life ] that i missed so much..may this coming New Year will brings you a lot of happiness in your life and take a good care!!..

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!

First of all i wanna thanks to the lord...i never imagine i would reach my age today..24 years old..dont know to to describe my feeling right now...my heart beat so fast..
there is a lot of thing flying around my head...the thing that i want to do...
i never wonder at the age of 24 i feel so exicted about life!!..i keep thingking what to do next..i set my goals...a lot of dreams come to me..
i love the way i live my life today..everyday my faith increase..i became the unpatient person..grab every opportunities that come to me...i don't want to be the last person..i want to be the first to have it..
sometimes i keep thingking why i never have this feeling last time...why today???..after 24 years...i feel regret...
i become very sensitive when someone didnt support what i do..when someone didn't believe me..i don't know why i hate the way they think about my dreams...
i thought they know me...but they don't actually...i really need support!!!...i hate when they didn't appreciate what i do...
there's one thing they don't know about me...
i'm the person who never look back...i will do everything i wanna do even i have to face a big risk...
There's so many thing happen to me and i have sacrifice a lot..my time , energy & tears..and i will not let it go from me...

* God i know u will help me to survive..AMEN *