Wednesday, March 30, 2011

~ I MISS U ~

" Where YOU used to be..there is a hole in the world.. which i find myself constantly walking around in the Day time and falling in at Night.. I MISS YOU like HELL.."

3 days Not talking..

3 days No SMS..

3 days No Jokes..

im dying like its happen for a month...

( am i too much??..mybe you'll say im MANJA..but its hurt me more)

i dont want to be like trying too act like everything is under control..but from all that i just feel EMPTY!!! its seem that everything i do is WRONG!!..

i try to be patient..waiting..and be cool..but this always ended with TEARS..

Morning come but i cry..Night come and i cry again..

seems like my world stop there..!


the only thing i can do now..

Hopefully Tommorow can talk to Him..

cross finger!! ^_^

p/s: Hubby Missing you like there's no tommorow..:((

~ S.T.R.E.S.S.~

arrrrgghhhh!!!!!...shet!!! stresss a lot!!!..bodoh!! Wednesday Suck!! not in mood! Whatever!! i just feel wanna go out from this situation!!.. benciii!!... everything seems makes me STRESS! wait till the end of April.. and i'll let this decision out.. cant stand! BORED!! HATE!! STRESS!! budu punya managenment! BOSS dia lagi palui! i need another JOBS!! i need new environment!!.. not happy with this company!!..tekanan jak yg sa dapat!..

p/s: im missing Him!!..:(( sakit ati bila tia kana layan..i need someone to tell my feels..but mybe he is busy..huh! RELAKSS!! i cant do anything!!


*** Deactive FB for a while...i just need some reason to help me let all this blues feels out..i cant stand...the more im there (FB) the more i feel stress.. ****

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

~i handle MINE~

boring dengan sesetengah orang..
atau ada kah saya yg memboringkan...??
tak kisah lar..yang pasti saya bengang layan perangai kamu..
saya boring layan kamu yang asyik menyatakan:-

" Ya, saya memang baik.."
" Saya takut buat itu sebab ia satu DOSA.."
" Saya selalu pigi gereja..saya takut kalau sekali pun escape.."

alim sangat meh?? need la to tell everyone that you go to church every week..
kalau hari2 sembayang pun tapi perangai masih juga tak berubah buat apa kan?
You have to watch yourself first so after that you can teach others to be good..
you dont have to tell everyone the same thing everyday especially me..
u know why?? becoz im sick with it...let me handle my life by my own..

im not good..i admit it..i do alot of sins..and the matters is only between me and God..
i know you've thinking the good for me..but i just dont like YOU!!..
show me that you are too good so i can accept everything you says..
going to church everyweek does'nt mean you are HOLY..
when everything you do everyday is still like someone who doesnt go...
please just live your own life..
no need to busy body with mine..
i'll handle my life with my own way..

~ Sori to others..i'll refering this to someone..but kalau ada yang terasa pa bole buat lar..siapa makan lada dia terasa pedas nya bah kan ~ So Cheers Guys!!..

p/s : Suddenly missing him!! No chat, No SMS, No life turn to EMPTY!!..wish that i was there..beside him..EVERYDAY!..can i have that time??..its SCARING! thinking future really makes my life full with SURPRISE! either good or bad i have to accept it! No i wish times flies so fast so that im not in this ZONE for such a long days!!..wishing the BEST for US!..

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Shut Up??

im thinking not to ask too much..
means i just wanna try to SHUT UP sometimes..
coz the more i ask the more it become complicated
i just wanna give some space to us..

dunno why but this fews day i easily sensitif with this small matter..
or mybe its because i miss the old days...
how i wish time flies back to that day..

p/s: i miss my FIRST DAY!!..

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

..i keep a SECRET!!..

i know what mean SECRET since a kid..
i try my best to keep it...
sometimes i do..
sometimes i broke..
im not a good keeper at all..
i'll keep it as long as i can..
but when its start to haunting me all i can says is "IM SORRY, i told them the secret"..

i keep my SECRET..
as long as i want..but overall i still keep all my SECRET till now..
havent told everyone and its will remain as my only SECRET!..

P/S:'ll be the biggest SECRET that i wanna keep..i wont share it to anyone..
and someday when THE DAY come i want everyone know my 'SECRET'..

Saturday, March 19, 2011

~ its THE DAY!! ~

im 26th years old already!!!
am i look that old???...
hahhahah! whatever!!

First of all wanna thanks to JESUS CHRIST!!
for still letting me stay and enjoy this beautiful world..
thanks for this AGE..
thanks for giving me a beaitiful & stongest MUM in the world..
without her i would not here right now...
thanks also for giving THEM to me...
who is still staying with me no matter what i've done to them..
they're my Friend but not my BFF...
sometimes i like to call my friend as my BFF..
because now i realise that them who i call BFF act like a friend to me..
weired rite..:))
but i dont want to think abt it anymore...its time for us to move as our own..
all i can say is " JUST LET IT BE" ~ U choose to be like that and i wont stop U!

im HAPPY but at the same time SAD..

becoz i celebrate it without my " SINGLE" status like last2 years..
im happy that he is the 1st one to wish me...
im happy becoz i put my wish on him..
im happy becoz gonna celebrate it with him!
he say he got present for me..
hahahhah! cant wait for the sunrise to come!!..
overall IM HAPPY!!!!

But, IM SAD at the same time...
the people that i expect to wish early like last2 years havent wish me yet..
are they still angry at me???
my BFF who act like a FRIEND at last..
if only they know that i hope them to wish me...huhuhu!
im really sorry for what happen..
but i need you all to understand my situation too..
( ..i miss the moment with them..)

as the age increase 1 stage i wish :-
that im more matured..
that im more strong to face all my problems..
that im more healty..
that im mo slim & beautiful..( hahahha..! sempat lagi ma)
but the most important things is im more good to GOD!

and this years i added i more special wish..
" God, i wish that THE PLAN happen as what we planned..give us more hopes,love & trust to each other so that we can accept each other without any excuses..Thanks for giving us chances to know each other and help me God to make it REAL"

p/s: Si Hubby, thanks a lot for that birthday wishes..thanks for the LOVE! will always keep this feels only for you! Forever & Ever !!!

Friday, March 11, 2011

..i MISS you get it??..

have you ever feel missing someone tht makes u cry suddenly??
i feel it now..huh! wish he know that...
its hurt but all i can do is just cry..:(

i can feel that i need his attention...
i need his nice words..
i need his warm smile..
i need his arms on my shoulder..
and mostly i need his kiss on my forehead..

huh!..perubahan hormon kali ni..
mo datang bulan kali..haizz..
suddenly, i became more MANJA..
his jokes makes me mad..
wish him to kuai2 me...
all i need is his attention...hee..

ermm...i just miss the old days...
the first month couple..hee..
dunno y..but i miss it...the feel that only you know how..
hee..hurmm! how i miss it...

p/s: How long should i have this kind of feels...
how i wish that time flies past..

~ I'll be your shoulder to cry on ~

touched songs!...
i will always be YOUR BLOG!!..
a shoulder to cry on...

p/s: En. Ronald..i try to make u my 2n BLOG..but sorry if im not as good as you trying the best..I LOVE YOU so much!!..

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

...My Turn??...

suddenly i felt touched.. i felt it from the bottom of my heart..

am i will have a time to feel it?? i pray to God.. asking..

" can i have that happy moment??"

all this time i scared... scared that i cant have it as what i wish... i want it not becoz i should have it.. but becoz i want to share everything in my life with someone i love.. i want my happy ending... but the more i think abt it the more i feel scared..

Please god..let it be this time...

i promise to love him..

i promise to take care of him..

i promise to be with him no matter what happen...

i'll promise everything just to have him in my life..

Becoz He is everything to me...

I hope THE PLAN will happen like what we want..

i hope im more stronger to face everything..

only Him in my heart now.. no one..

you'll say im liar... but who cares...

my Own feel and only me know the truth!..

p/s : Hubby ~ You'll be the man that always win my heart..

no one can do that..even we always quarell over something still i want to be with you...

you should know that..

NO ONE its has to be YOU..~

Friday, March 4, 2011

..wat should i do??..

its march again!!..its comes likes last years..
so thats mean im coming to new ' NUMBER' again..
of course its increase 1 step ahead!.. getting older again..:((

so many things in my head..
especially MONEY!!..
suddenly its disturb my days...
haizz!!!!...the DIGI BROADBAND really makes me moody!!

actually this MOOD disturbing my day n nights since monday!!
dunno why but its hurt me a bit..
always like this..huh! its makes me hate myself more..
tensionn!!!!!...and i hate it..
the office things..!
the home things..!
and this personal things..!!
its really annoying!!..

i hate the things!!..
but i cant says it...all i can do is yelling without voice..
its makes me crazy!..
i just feel like wanna go somewhere!..
where i cant find all this things!..
alone..and doing the things i like...wish i was the old one..
i just cant TRUST myself!..
how can dis be..??
wat should i do..??
im tired!!...i need it to end fast!!..

Help me, God..
i just cant stand..i have no strenght to face it all...

how i wish you understand wat inside me..!
wat i LIKE and DISLIKE..

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

~ A touched Songs!! ~

Im in LOVE with this songs for the 1st time..
such a beautiful lyrics..
im soo touched!!..really touched!!
i feel wanna cry..
i know its more to islam..
but its doesnt matter rite??..
i have a lot of family members who is convert to islam..
so do my mum..

i like this songs very much!! and the singer too..

p/s: Hubby...i'll LOVE you for the rest of my life!!..