~ Fighting with Myself ~

"im listening to Christian Bautista's songs now..

and He is the only one in my mind now..

its just yesterday havent met him and now im missing him this much..

last nite conversation still spinning around my head...

silly me...haizz...so childish...Rain2...please change!!"

The Argument : ~

simple things become complicated and its all your fault Rain..

so sensitive...haizz..

bodoh ni...why la thinking negative that fast...

positive..! positive..! positive..!

look...u the one feel the pain kan Rain...silly!!

lain kali fikir before talk lar...always like this..

u always say u dont want to burdening him..

but now?? see what have u done last nite..

even he didnt say anything..

bt, i know misti dia sakit ati tu gara2 layan perangai ko semalam...

sa tau ko geram sama dia..tapi jan la bah tunjuk sangat...

tidak ble ka mengalah sekejap bukan hal besar pun...

dia cuma tidak dapat join mah...kan next time masih ada lagi..

jan terusan befikiran negatif..coz, its only makes you feel more hurt..

sepa susah???..diri sendiri juga kan...

u have to thinking of his feels too...

ingat senang ka tu if ada d tangah2 keadaan..

huh!!!...ko bilang tia mo paksa dia..

tapi dari cara ko cakap its seem you want him to do what you want...

camna la ni if berterusan cam gini...

cant help u anymore if u didnt want to change..

p/s : ~ This is the only one ways for me to cool down.. ~ Fighting with myself!! ~

.. DILEMA..

sa geram...!!! tetau sama dia or sama diri sendiri...
tapi yang pasti hati sa sakit saat ini...
i pretend again!! haizzz!!!...
geram sebab pa yg sa harap tidak kesampaian...
dalam kepala cuma hal ni saja...
mungkin bagi dia 'NEXT TIME' masih ada...
tapi bagi saya itu satu hal yg belum pasti...
he dont know what would happen tommorow...
and i dont know when ' NEXT TIME' will appear again...
Hurmmm...! biarla..

' SAYA BELUM BERSEDIA' - this words keep spinning in my mind...
so many negative thoughts come..and im fighting with the positive one...
tetau kenapa ayat ni tetiba menusuk tul ni hati...its hurt...really hurt..
feel wanna cry..bnyk ni persoalan dlm kepala...

i really2 hope i 'll get something tht makes me smile when i told him this..
becoz i already plan to brings him to meet my family on this wedding day ..
but pa ble buat he have another plan too..on that day...
maybe next time...sa cuba pujuk ati sebenarnya..tapi...huh!! tetau napa sakit ni ati..
i really hope dia akan choose sa 1st then bru kawan2 dia...
walaupun dia cakap ' Tgk lu keputusan si Luke' but still i feels this so strong that
he will not join me...biar la..give him time until he really2 ready to meet my family..
like i do to his family...huh!! maybe sa manja sgt thts y i cant accept this things..
Coz..i already plan this for quite long time..since i says HE IS THE ONE..

HURMMM!! biar la...walaupun sa mengharap sangat tapi sa tetap terima if he choose to be with his
friends that day... i wont forcing him...walaupun nanti he says he want to follow me still i would says NO..becoz i know how its feel when we're in DILEMA... x ikhlas nanti dia that day..if he join me la.. ermm..hopefully luke's application is approved...if not means LABUAN is just a dream..:)
hurmm...biar la.. Next day still have for mr to go there..

Ermmm...biar la tu...Forget it Rain...hal remeh jan ka c jadi complicated..
hopefully 'NEXT TIME' will still have for us...
when?? dunno yet...maybe tommorow..next week..next month or next year..
No body Knows...Only God know..coz he is the one who plan our life...
God, Good Bless Us... Amen!!!


P/S : lega skit ni hati walaupun sebenarnya its hurt a lot...
i wont Forcing coz i dont like it too...