..Rest In Peace Aki!!..

..17 may 2011..

You've Gone..

leaving us with tears..

we know you'll never come back again..

but You still live in our heart forever..

Your Laugh, Your stories , Your Jokes and your smile will be the most things to be missed..!

" Tai Kara" will stay in our heart.. Your trademark that will always makes us smile..!

May Your Soul Rest in peace.. Aki Petiris!!

We Love You Now & Forever!!

..uLanG taYanG kEhidUpaN..

ari ni nak ceta pasal CINTA lagi.. Bole??..

i dalam mood nak balik rumah..tetau apa nak buat..hehehe..

( Padahal dah sehari suntuk i 'bercucuk- tanam' kat FACEBOOK)

'Tanaman' i kat sana memang cun2..tak penah ada kat alam realiti..

Ermm...sedar tak sedar i dah ada kat dunia blog hampir 4 tahun..

wow! lama kan... Dulu time baru sign in i tak tahu pun apa itu blog..

yang i tahu i nak cari satu 'tempat' untuk cerita semua yang ganggu hati i..

so ter'wujud la ' DIARY ALAM MAYA' i ni..hee..

and i love it so much!

Dulu..i create blog after break dengan 1st BF..

hahahhah! rasa lucu bila ingat balik..

Alasan nya sebab tak de duit nak beli buku diary yang kiut2..

lagi pun tangan penat tekan pen..hee

nak kongsi dengan kawan pun tak tahu macam mana nak mula..

Coz i bukan nya jenis orang yang talkactive...

i pendiam yang suam2 kuku je..

kalau bab2 nak luah kan frust memang i tak bole..

tapi awal tahun ni i dah delete semua post i tahun 2008 & 2009 punya..

tinggal beberapa saja lagi post i tahun 2009 punya itu i pilih yang terbaik sahaja...

saja je nak something yang fresh..

i tak mau bila tiap kali Log-in Blog kisah2 lama akan terimbas balik..

pertengahan tahun 2009 i couple balik.. dengan bestfriend i sendiri..

tp nak dekat ujung2 taun dia kata nak break.. jodoh tak de.. sedih..

that why i frust again.. lebih2 lagi i admire kat budak ni dah lama..

huh! biarlah... kitaorang cuma sesuai jadi kawan kot..

so taun 2010 memang post semua berkisar tentang dia..

hampir setiap hari i post sesuatu yang emo... dekat FB.. dalam BLOG..dalam SMS..:)

sampaikan dalam dalam beberapa bulan jak post i da mencecah 100 keatas..

hahahhaha! CRAZY !!

Time break dengan guy ni yang rasa sangat FRUST!!..sakit hati yang tak terbendung...

kalau i dok layan hati time tu memang kompom i dah ada kat hospital sakit jiwa..

hahahhaha! nasib baik juga la i masih sayang diri sendiri..

dah tak da jodoh nak buat camna kan...

huhuhu! setiap yang Hilang pasti ada gantinya.... Senyum lebar!!..

pertengahan 2010 AKU JATUH CINTA lagi..

hahahhaha! Dasar!

ala..tak kisah la kan...CINTA ITU BUTA!

bila2 masa pun dia akan datang..

CINTA kali ini memang berbeza.. kalau dulu lelaki yang cakap kat i dorang ADMIRE i..

tapi kali ini i yang dulu cakap..

tak tahu malu betul i kan..hahahha!

tak kisah la..janji bahagia.. erm, i bahagia ke??

i jenis yang susah nak jatuh cinta...sekali ia terjadi i tetap nak kan orang tu..

malu pun malu lah..hee..

and maybe i was lucky! He got the same feel like me..wakakakka!

Lucu juga la..but He is such a nice guy!! and im really thankful tu God..

tak sia2 i tebalkan muka cakap dengan dia time tu... Fuhh! Lega...

Now, ari ni genap 7 bulan 3 minggu kita orang bersama..

pertama kali hubungan cinta i melebihi 5 bulan..hahahha!

and pertama kali juga i rasa sedikit lega dan yakin dengan perasaan i..

saya belajar marah , Cemburu , ambil berat , dan berkongsi hidup dan cerita dengan orang selain BLOG & DIARY...

CINTA buat kita berubah kan??...hee..

ajar kita banyak benda... i sangat2 bersyukur dengan kenangan masa silam i...

kalau i tak rasa sakitnya CINTA masa itu mungkin sampai sekarang i tak tahu macam mana rasa seronoknya bercinta..

Wah!! im dreaming again!! ~ suddenly, i want time flies fast!!..

cant wait for The Plan..

one of the reward for our relationship...

God Bless Us!!..

Hari ini..apa yang pasti i nak sangat Dia yang pegang tangan i sampai tua..

Boleh kan i berharap... :)

Doa kan kami agar sentiasa bersama...Amen!

P/S : Mungkin Cinta itu sakit dan membunuh hati kita.. Tapi hak kita untuk mengubatinya.. Jangan simpan lama2 karang kita ' MATI ' dalam kesedihan..

..HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MAMA!!..

Besok ari ibu!!... Yeah!!

semalam tetiba teringat pasal mama i... tetau kenapa sebak jak hati.. sedih..!

" God, im a bad daughter!!"

first ayat yang terkeluar dari konti suara i.. dan terus terang i nangis dalam gelap..tetau la kazen i sedar ke tak..tak kisah la.. dah la malam semalam i memang EMO gila.. gaduh dengan

En. Ronald lagi... huh!! sakit hati sangat2!! Sorry Dear, my Bad!!

Mungkin perubahan hormon ( Datang bulan punya pasal) yang buat i rasa nak marah jak dalam seminggu ni..semua benda tak kena langsung dengan mood i...kalau boleh setiap minit i nak marah orang... kasihan mereka yang ada di sisi i masa tu.. tak pasal2 kena marah free2..

Sori Adik2 ku.. i tak sengaja..

Besok Hari Ibu! ~ Hati Berdebar2.. tetau kenapa.. walaupun i ni bukan la jenis yang rapat dengan mama i.. jarang sekali bercerita.. kekadang just bertanya kabar yang biasa2 jak.. kekadang cemburu tengok sesetengah kawan yang boleh buat mama derang macam kawan.. tapi i?? tetau la.. mungkin dah terbiasa dari kecil.. i suka buat hal sendiri... lagipun mama tegas sangat tem kitaorang kecil2..nak manja2 pun susah..thats why kenapa sekarang i lebih suka berdiam diri... tapi itu tidak bermakna yang i tak pernah kisah pasal dia... She is number one in my heart..cuma mungkin cara i berbeza.. Orang akan kata i ni x rapat dengan mama i..tapi terus terang hati i memang rapat dengan dia... i sayang dia sangat2..

She is beautiful & Stronger!!.. no one can beat her! i adore her! how she manage to make us alive alone!! she was only 34 yrs old when dady left us.. and she have to raise 5 of us.. our life was really terrible that time.. but still we survive till now.. ! Thank MUM!! i appreciate everything you ever do to us! ~ Im so sorry for being a bad daughter!! Forgive me!!

Nanti petang nak balik kampung..nak celebrate HARI IBU dengan family member.. tak sabar..!

So, You all da plan ke nak buat apa ngan mama masing2 esok??.. Hee..

Jan lupa wish dia ye..!!

Last but not least!! ~ ' HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ' to all my family members especially to my beloved MAMA, My cute Odu sarabun.. My Sister or Mummy Si Jayden.. My Friends.. My Bf's Mother & Sisters.. My schoolmate who already become MUMMY and not forget all the BLOGGERS!! ~ God Bless You All!!! We Love you all MAMA!!

p/s: Today cannot dating with Him!! wait for me Tommorow Hubby! Starting missing you already! So sorry for last nite..! Love You!!

..WHATEVER GIRL!!..

im on FB just now..and i recognise something!! Did she block me again???..WHY??

but when i check my BF fb she is still there??..weird?? angry with me??..why?? WHATEVER!!

I DONT CARE!!!! you maybe got another reason but im not going to be that nice again! there's no more NEXT girl!!.. Do what you want!!

huh! She distrub my mood today..! if you think that is the best then do it!!...btw, im not that close to you...so your right if you wanna do that..but why only me? Do i make you angry? Tell me..Blocking someone without reason is a coward action when at the same time we know each other!..

( i dunno why i get angry knowing her might blocking me..maybe this is the 2nd time.. so NEXT i have to says sorry coz i have to remove you from my friendlist..)

P/s: i just check my FB and she is there already! should i gave her another one chance!? ~ Luckily im not that mean! i'll Give him another chance!

..It's KAAMATAN..!

" Pemahaman Budaya - Ke Arah Kegemilangan (BM) "

"Kopirotian Id Koubasanan - Ralan Koburuon (DUSUN)"

" Cultural Understanding - The Way Foward ( ENGLISH) "

[ Tema Kaamatan 2011 - Dalam 3 Bahasa]

MAY is such a 'beautiful' month for every people in sabah...

they starting to let themself busy for any activities in this month..

its because KAAMATAN DAY is coming..its also known as HARVEST FESTIVAL..

honestly im no really know what the real meaning of this festival..

i only know a little bit about it..the most interesting things about kaamatan and been waiting for everyone especially for all the girls in sabah is UNDUK NGADAU...something like beauty contest but they are wearing the tradisional costume and the winner called HUMINODUN..here is the link about the LEGEND OF HUMINODUN which i took from JASON JAY BLOG.. you all can see many pictures of all the HUMINODUN through the years..

TUARAN/TAMPARULI district begin their Kaamatan festival 1st May this year which is been held at TUN HAMDAN HALL, TAMPARULI...and i was there that time..hee..

i force my BF to go there..haa..and he ended it saying 'OK' but with his ' mau tidak mau' face..Huh! whatever la..

We reach TAMPARULI around 2pm and its raining so heavy...and there's no parking!!..

we have to make 3 round at the pekan just to find the park and luckily we find one which one is nearer to the place.. we all says 'Thanks God!" ..haa.. we are really excited...and honestly its my 1st time joining the district celebration...all the times i only manage to celebrate the kampung's..hee..

The hall is full but we still try to let ourself in..men paksa!..hahhaha! and the UNDUK NGADAU competition is just begin...they are all beautifull!! CHECK here to see all the contestant or just go to this BLOG..

Now, every district busy finding their UNDUK NGADAU to represent in State Level Kaamatan Festival at the end of the month 30th - 31th of May 2011 at KDCA, PENAMPANG..

and of course i cant wait to see the next HUMINODUN..3 weeks more to come..!

So, Sabahan lets Enjoy this festival..! ARAMAITEE!!!..

Sabahan who is outside sabah please comeback that day and join us!!..Rugiii!!..haa..

P/s: its true my BF doesnt enjoy that day..kena paksa kan..huh! whateverla..

..Sakitkan Bila RINDU datang melawat HATI..

[When i miss you, i dont want to go far...i just have to look inside my heart coz thats the only place i can found you..]

i miss that Guy again..just talk to him two hours ago..
even i dont really like the conversation bt still thats 'feed' my loneliness today..

feel a little bit angry..bored...unstatisfied...
its all becoz that small matter...
my mood gone..feel like 'HUH! ~ WHY SHOULD BLAME ME..'
suddenly feel 'gerigitan'..
hilang trus tu mood mau minta kana sayang2...

But, luckily its not effect my feels too much...
i still can control it..
.i manage to handle it ( terpaksa berdiam diri..tunggu Dia yang start becakap..)
if not memang i dah off phone tu..
huh! Rindu kekadang menyakitkan...!
bila ia tidak terluah dengan hati yang gembira..
LOVE challenge my days every second..
Sabarkan separuh dari iman..hee..!
Tak kisah la Rain...:)
The most important now is accepting each others imperfection..
i know and really sure that we will manage it ..Coz, we love each other..
HOPEFULLY!!

..I KNOW ITS ONLY BEEN A FEWS DAY I LAST SAW YOU BUT IT ALREADY FEEL LIKE ETERNITY FOR ME..SO I SIT DOWN AND COUNT THE TIME I GET TO SEE YOU AGAIN..

I MISS YOU, HUBBY!!

i want to ignore that small matter but so sorry coz sometimes i cant do that..

P/S: The worst things to have lappy at home..i ended it with blog and never care about the time..and now its 11.47pm and my eyes still open wide..so Fresh!..
i say i want to sleep already 2 hours ago to Him..but, im still here..
Pa2 pun i nak paksa mata kiut i ni tido..if not gurantee tommorow morning will yawning every second..hahahha!
Gud Nite everyone..MUAXXX! for my Hubby..