Deactive Facebook???..

bosan!!
geram!!!
hipokrit!!
temberang!!
bikin sakit hati!!
thats what i feel when i open it!!

Feel wanna deactive Facebook soon...

...HATI kenapa sedih sangat nie??...

Nangis.

Hati sayu sangat awal pagi nie...

tadi kat FB aku sempat belek2 gambar lama...

tetiba..mata tertumpu pada wajah seseorang yg sgt di rindui..

air mata keluar lagi..

rindu sangat2 dengan dia...

11 tahun dia tinggal kan kami..

satu masa yg sangat lama...

we're grown up already Dad!!..Miss u much..

huh..! air mata mengalir lar...

keluar sebanyak mungkin...cuci segala kesedihan aku masa ini...

entah la...tetau kenapa ari ni rasa nak nangis jak..

sakit ati , rindu , marah , sedih & happy...

tetambah2 dengan mimpi buruk semalam..

suma campur sekali...

tapi yang nyata.. aku rindu sangat dengan Mendiang..

rindu sgt2...susah nak explain...

kalau di beri peluang nak sangat peluk dia...

nak bagi tau dia semua kesedihan & masalah hidup yg melanda..

rindu nak dengar nasihat dia...

wanna says :-

" Dad, I have Boyfriend already.."

" Dad, I hate them..i feel angry.."

" Dad, I'm Happy..i laugh a lot today.."

" Dad, i cant handle this problem..tell me wat to do.."

i wish i can tell Him all..But..

i Missed the chances to says it...He Gone too past..

Dad, May Your soul Rest in peace there..

sorry im not a good daughter..

i always do mistake..

i know you always look after us there..

we miss you so much..!

Hope to share you all our happiness & joys..

wish u are here...

Thanks For everything you ever do...

Hugs & Kisses for you Forever...

( This Post i dedicated to My beloved Dad : R.I.P Nasip Alap )

p/s : En. Ronald you makes me feel complete...honestly, you light up my days..Love u..!

..SaLah Saya Ka??..

kenapa tiap kali saya yg dipersalahkan...
tapi bila mereka yang berada dalam situasi saya..
tidak pula saya salahkan mereka...
mesti saya saja ka yang perlu faham mereka tapi mereka tidak..
saya bosan..!!!

"...mentang2 ada BF kawan di lupakan lar..."
hate this words so much!!!!...
salah ka bila saya ada BF..
kenapa mereka tidak fikir masalah lain time tu..
bikin sakit hati!!!!!!!!

sa pun tetau kenapa saya ada kawan macam tu...
pentingkan diri sendiri!!
mau saya fahami mereka...
tapi salahkan saya macam sa bunuh org!!!..
apa punya kawan cam tu...
cuma tahun ni saja sa tidak terjoin CNY wit them..
tapi mereka berlagak macam sudah bertahun2 sdh sa tidak join..!!!
arggghhhhh!!
sa benci ni keadaan!!! buat sa dalam keadaan serba salah!
Whatever!!!!!...
biarla kamu!!..saya malas nak fikir pasal korg punya problems..
problems sa lagi banyak..menambah kn stress jak d awal pagi...

huh!!!!...Chill Rain..!! tarik nafas...
lega??...nope...its seems sa mo marah mereka depan2..
gila..!!

.. uUu..Boring La BaCa Ur StAtus..

...Cukup 10 hari tak post apa2 d blog..
.. hati tak tahan...
.. tak senang if tidak berblog..
walau camna pun paksa tetap tangan gatal mo menaip...
i realize that there's something that you have to tell others by writing..

sEtiap hari dengan Facebook..
tetau pa sebab..tapi tiap kali automatically ter'login..hahahha..!
CITYVILLE, FARMVILLE & MAFIA WARS terlalu mengoda..hee..

boringnya baca status yang sama setiap hari..
cuba says something yang boleh buat org berfikir..
ini tidak..asyik dengan kesedihan...
we know it from ur first status..
tak yah la dok ulang2...boring tau..!!
( Hee..actually benda ni tuju kan kepada diri sendiri..hahahha! )

Tapi mmg betul pun ada kengkawan yang asyik layan sedih..
then post kat FB yg lagaknya nak minta perhatian...
huh! penat tau baca...
terasa mau muntah..ble ka post something different everyday...??

Kira nak post benda ni kat Notes d FB..
Tapi biar la..karang ada yg terasa..
tambah lg lar sedih nampaknya..
hee...kat blog ni bukan suma pun dari FB baca...
( Hee..jahat juga rupanya mulut i ni..wakakakka! whatever!)
so, kalau korang terbaca lar Post ni..faham2 sendiri lar..
malas nak bagitau sepa ka org tu sebab i pun tergolong dalam kumpulan itu..
hahahhaha! saja jak nak sindir diri sendiri..
tapi if ada sesiapa yg terasa sori la yeee..
tak berniat pun..hee..
Bak kata orang..siapa makan lada dia terasa pedas nya...
Ok la..Gian menaip da d lepaskan..puasnya ati..hee..
Have a Nice day everyone..!


P/S: En. Ronald saya rindu kamu...(",) Cepat lar masa... x sabar nak jumpa..(^_*)

.. A ' words ' ..

..Ermm..maybe this will be my last entry...
i will not stop from blogging coz this is my life..
my bestfriend ever...
the only one who understand me most..
but i have to stay less here coz i love him so much...
i want to take care of his feelings...
i dont want every words that i says here will cause the argument..
i love this relationship..
and im really tired of any misunderstanding between us...

honestly, this is hards for me..
but nothing is impposible rite...
4 month already and its really tough for me...
i dont wanna be the quitter like last time..
i'll do anything if i have to..
even forgeting my interest.. i'll do it...
its not becoz i want him to please me..
but its becoz i wanna change too...

the time is coming..
i dont want to stay with my old life..
even how hard it is i will face it...

2011 is a challenge year for me..
i can feel it..
and im really hope that im stronger than before..
and i realize something that this years is different than last2 years..
i have new people in my life..
i have new hopes..
i have new priority..
i have new responsibility..

sometimes im asking myself..
" Why God didnt let me have this before"..
why now??...
its hard...i feel wanna quit sometimes...
but, there's something that help me to be strong...
this LOVE..
coz, i realize that this LOVE is different..

im thinking alot since that day...
my fault..and im really dissapointed with myself...
"God, Help me...
i need strenght rite now...
please let me stay...
i dunno who should i find..
i dunno how im going to do this...
its hards and its killing me..."

i feel wanna cry everyday...
leaving all the blues feeling with my tears...
and leave me here with a smile...
i just need HAPPY in my life now..
im tired of anger, hurt & tears...

Can u feel what i feel rite now??
im drowning...
and im forcing this tears to stop there..
coz i know i wont stop till i really sure that im ok..

why life so complicated...??
huh..! im tired with all this...

so dearest reader...
sorry if this is my last entry...
will comeback soon..
when??..
maybe its when i really can change myself..
when i really can tell & share everyone how i feel rather than writing here...
maybe tommorow , next week , next month or next years..
nobody knows...
hopefully God is with me...
Coz im scared that i'll fell down and nobody there to help me..
Dun wori..i'll always following all your words here..
coz i cant live without others words...
A words that makes me thinking and knowing people without seeing ur face..

So..cheers up everyone!!.
Makes your day as wonderfull with ur new experience..
coz thats the only one things that makes our life more meaningful and precious...

Hubby,
I love u damn much...
sorry if im too much...
i just dunno what to do..im blank..
Thanks for everything..i appreciate it so much..
Maybe im not that good..
but i'll try the best i can be...
Firstly, Sorry...if it not like what you wish..
i cant pretend to be like that..
so everything you see & hear from me after this is the best i can do..
i just need an understanding...
I love u so much..thats the fact..

~ Fighting with Myself ~

"im listening to Christian Bautista's songs now..

and He is the only one in my mind now..

its just yesterday havent met him and now im missing him this much..

last nite conversation still spinning around my head...

silly me...haizz...so childish...Rain2...please change!!"

The Argument : ~

simple things become complicated and its all your fault Rain..

so sensitive...haizz..

bodoh ni...why la thinking negative that fast...

positive..! positive..! positive..!

look...u the one feel the pain kan Rain...silly!!

lain kali fikir before talk lar...always like this..

u always say u dont want to burdening him..

but now?? see what have u done last nite..

even he didnt say anything..

bt, i know misti dia sakit ati tu gara2 layan perangai ko semalam...

sa tau ko geram sama dia..tapi jan la bah tunjuk sangat...

tidak ble ka mengalah sekejap bukan hal besar pun...

dia cuma tidak dapat join mah...kan next time masih ada lagi..

jan terusan befikiran negatif..coz, its only makes you feel more hurt..

sepa susah???..diri sendiri juga kan...

u have to thinking of his feels too...

ingat senang ka tu if ada d tangah2 keadaan..

huh!!!...ko bilang tia mo paksa dia..

tapi dari cara ko cakap its seem you want him to do what you want...

camna la ni if berterusan cam gini...

cant help u anymore if u didnt want to change..

p/s : ~ This is the only one ways for me to cool down.. ~ Fighting with myself!! ~