Susahkan nak ambil hati orang.. Huh! im in blues again.. dunno why but till now this loneliness wont go from my life... I miss someone.. He seems too far away even we talked & sms'in everyday.. i want more but he seems dont want to give it.. i feel like im burdening him.. Should i stop now..?? The more i force the more pain i get.. im scared that i cant force myself again.. i feel like wanna rest from all this.. everytime i ask wether this LOVE still in myself.. and guess wat its EMPTY inside my heart.. i try to be what he want.. i try to be someone.. but, huh! i FAILED!! if only i can STOP and turn the time back mybe no one of us will suffer.. God, give me clue.. i dunno what i should do now.. im going crazy!!! did he know what inside myself now?? did he know how hard im now?? Did he know that he hurt me a bit?? Did he know that i miss him?? ~ I dont think so He know all that.. coz all he know is im a BORED person!! Right??
i dont like the way he treats me.. the way he says things to me... its 1 year 2 month and i can count how many " I LOVE U" and " I MISS U" he ever says to me this few month.. Am i really annoying?? Tell me please so that i can leave ... Im tired holding.. im not happy if he dont happy.. Please God, show me any kind of way.. Amen.
p/s : The Plan is coming in less 2 weeks.. Am i really ready? Am i really choose the right choice?? this question keep coming to me lately.. Whatever it is i hope that im in a right way.. I knew it.. If only i have to be regreted next i accept it.. Because this is what i want.. I just Need a bit understanding.. a bit care... a bit Love.. an the rest i leave it to god.. Huh! Tears coming down!.. dunno why feel so sad tonite... all i know is im lonely..