...its kiling me....

This is kiling me...haizzzz...dunno what to do to let it go...its happen again after i pull it out last time...something keep bothered my mind and heart...am i???...the smile and the jokes makes me wanna lie down and dreams...hahhahah...WTH!!!!...crazy!!..

Its a weired feeling!!!

its weired..hehehhe..my mind keep thinking about him...arrrghhh...i cant explain why but its something sweet!!!...:)

am i admiring him..oh no..takkan la....gilaaa...i cant be...but i feel happy when chatting with him..i laugh and smile for no reason....arrrrghhh....i dont want to be like this....but knowing more abt him make me happy....gila ehhhh....doiiii...what happen to you Rain!!...becareful with that...

i dunno what is that.. or i just pretend that i dont know..???? budu ehhh...dont say im in love with that guy...NO!!..

...it's LIFE maybe...

For sure im happy for what i have now...a freedom , a friends and of coz a lovely family!!..they making my life perfect..until i forgot what loneliness is..i cherished everything come to my life...i accept every feels that distrub myself...
sometimes i wonder why some people really obssed with something that they know they would'nt...why dont they just stop and looking for the best!..waiting and hoping for something that they know they cant get...
i was that person last time...forcing my ownself just to make the other one happy...taking the big risk that might make me regret the whole life...last time i dunno what REGRET means..but now when i reflect evrything happen to my life before i began to feel it...theres so many things happen until i dunno wether i can stand up or not..is that's LIFE maybe kan?
The simple LIFE become the complicated one...and im the only one who started it...Owh, how i wished i could back to my PAST!..enjoying everything without thinking about what happen next...without getting involved in this words ' LOVE '...the MOST things that changing me now..i hate it but at the same time i need it...insane!!!....i sacred to fall in love but i miss to have the feeling....God, help me...how im going to get through...i'm BLANK!!..

..i want to FALL IN LOVE again.

i want to FALL IN LOVE again....crazy feelings ooowww....hahahahha...

but for sure i feel it...i feel jelouse watching every of my friend happy with their spouse...

i misss someone hands...i need someone care...i mis the words " LOVE U" n "MISS U"...

*****LOVE PLS COME BABY******

..a big THANK to her...

..i received this message from her...never wonder there's a comment that makes me feels so touched..it's make me wake up again..thinking a lot and of course smile without reason..thanks to
this Gurl..

"I don't 1 2 b a busy body but i cant help it.. i read ur latest post on ur blog and i say, hell yeah!! he is (ur ex) is a selfish a**hole...... his reason is so childish.... what abt him being hungry and u did not attend his needs? I say, if he really2 love u... he will be sincere in everything... and what with the
(from ur blog) *if i wake up late will you be waking up late too? whose gonna get the food ready on the table? and the babies are all cryin. dont think that im an independent guy and i can find food on my own and i know u can too! but i care for you... thats why i ask you if youre hungry or you need anythin? i need your care too, you know! i dont want to give u a clue that im hungry or what but u just have to figure that out yourself*....

im not that good either.... but... relationship lasts because of sincerity.... understanding... respect.....

sorry klu sa menyibuk but I think u r better w/out him..... REALLY

U r beautiful :)
And I believe there are more men out there that willing to be your man and can accept you for who u r and not for what u r not...
Like u said..
nobody is perfect..
So, if a man 1 2 love u...
They should love ur imperfection because u came with it....
If they can't accept it... they can F.off....


Just believe, everything happen for a reason....

May God bless u always...

And forgive me if I said anything that hurt ur feeling or klu sa menyibuk tahap dewa...:)

P/s: sa mo komen d blog ko tp x dpt...:)"

...i love the comments so much!!!..

..i don't MISS him anymore..

i don't miss him anymore...
thats what i feel rite now...there's something blocking all my feel before...
im happy...but at the same time i worried that i will hating him...
everything seems wanna left me but i dont feel like to stop it...
i feel good..like nothing ever happen between us...
like i never ever know him...
i dont feel jelouse..angry..sad..or hate...all i know is my feeling going smooth n easy to handle right now..they gone!!
im trying to find it again but all i feel is NOTHING!..
is that mean im moving On??
is that mean im not frust anymore?
ermmmm!!!..but why still i feel really empty?..

[ u the one who suffer me more than i ever thought..u left me alone...u make me cry a lot than i ever wonder...u laugh bt im sad..crying for what happen..sometimes i dunno why i still love you even last time you ever hurt me...why i been frustrated for almost 7 months becoz of you...silly me!!!...sometimes i wanna end everything that connect me to you but still i think abt our friendship...sorry to say that i dont miss you anymore..i dont love you anymore...i already forgot everything we ever do...i dont want to be pretender anymore...i just wanna live my life without you in my mind...i was tired holding it anymore..i just wanna let my mind rest and giving my ownself another chance to love someone else even im really sure that im HEARTLESS for man!!..i know time will help me to open it back as long as im letting you go from HERE..so im hoping that you'll find your own happiness and meeting ur future LIFE!!..still i cant stop myself praying for ur happiness...GBU!!..]