When BREATH stop!!

"Birth and death; we all move between these two unknowns."

Bryant H. McGill

DEATH??? Everyone know this word. Its scaring right?? Honestly, im not scared of it as we know no one could escape this. Bt, what i scared is Leaving everyone i love.

First time i know about death is when our Grandmother died when im only 6yrs old.. Followed by my Uncle when im 11yrs.. And the most saddest Death happen to me is when My Dad passed away 3yrs after my Uncle. The most shocking things happen in my life. Its changed my life 100%. I lost my STRENGTH. Lost my FAITH. Times flies and i lost someone again.. My Great Grandmother & My GrandFather in both side. Memories remain as one of the things they Left to us. I know that, but theres always a time tears fall down again after many2 years. No one will ever Forget!!.. I know U all too..

Im 27yrs now.. to many people leaving me for 'another' world. When is my TURN?? nobody know. God do His job nicely. Maybe today is my last day, Maybe tommorow.. No one know.. Thats the only secret God never tell us. I cry..Regret...I only rent this world. Someday i may leaving Everyone here.. Will they missing me when in 'Gone'..?? Scared they will forget me.. :'(

Huh!! I dunno why suddenly talking about this. Last tuesday, A friend passed away. He is too young to die..only 24yrs old and have to leave his beautiful wife and a cute little baby girl. Sometime i feel its Unfair coz everyday you read his dream for his Family. He only know he got heart attack last week.. and passed away this tuesday. What a waste..

Sometime, God takes us without notice. So, please do check our own body. Medical Check up is important ~ Im saying this to myself as i was scared of this words

" HOSPITAL".

God, May This Easter bring peace to all the soul that you have called to meet you, Bring them to the place you've promise, Amen.

Last, HAPPY EASTER DAY to those who celebrate! May our life much more better than before. (Notice to myself)..

p/s: I have no mood to WORK there!!.. its stressing me.. Everyday i have to keep all the things that hurting me and i dunno who should i told.. Been too long didnt open BLOG and today i feel much better than before.

** Say NO to ciggarette, Beers, Cholestrol & Stress coz its effect to many dieses **

Its New Year!!!

New year 2012 is here!!! No new solution.. i only hope to find and save many2 money!!! its a year of saving such a big money.. too many hope for this year but the most imprtant is keeping this relationship to the end.. i hope im more mature to lead my life and so do i hope in him.. Amen!!

~ Love & Friend ~

i want BOTH!! can??
i found my LOVE already... Sometimes i dont understand Others or mybe i should not let my life busy thinking about their life.. they makes LOVE as one of their TOY.. last time FIGHTING to have IT but now EASILY letting IT go... Why?? When we LOVE someone its mean we accepting everything coming from her / him.. The bad and Good.. the comittment that we struggle to makes actually a big sign that we really want her / him in our life.. Bt now, look... becoz of the misunderstanding we let go each other.. Wasting your time & money only.. PENGAJARAN: Kenali pasangan anda masing2 sebelum membuat apa2 keputusan penting dalam hidup and we should know that Nobody is perfect... Erm.. whatever la.. dah pilihan macam tu..cuma as a friend i really feel so sad.. Walaupun rasa keputusan tu agak2 baik namun still sa rasa sayanggg sangat.. :(
Now, i only want to take care of my own relationship.. May our love stay Forever..! AMEN!!
FRIEND??
But FRIEND i think i didnt... Why?? Dunno..
Last time i can says that i got my BFF but today all i can says is im wrong..
No friends can stay long with us.. i learn it This fews day.. Only 1 people in this world can trully be your BFF and im looking for that person... Mybe its my fault accepting anyone as a friend and love them like a family.. i know im wrong.. its Ok.. im leaving..
Someday im hoping that there's someone coming to ask me to be their friends and became the last person to be my friend in life... i dont want 'MANY' i just want 'ONE' friend that trully there when i need someone other than my Fiance & Family... A friend that not only looking for me when they're down.. when there's no one beside them.. thats not friend.. !! One more thing is they should know that i HATE liar!!!.. dont ever try to make fool around me.. i wont scold you but dont ask me why if someday i ask u to leave from my life... Thats the best choice i can do.. I know im not good.. im bad.. really bad..!!
Sorry Friend... Hopefully u enjoy & Happy with your own life..:)

~ The Plan is OVER ~

Yeah!! akhirnya " THE PLAN" yang di tunggu2 telah tiba.. Tanggal 29/10/2011 i jadi tunangan orang.. rasa lain sangat.. haa.. its not like when you're still Bf & Gf.. hepi semacam jak.. hahaha!

At least mulut orang sekeliling boleh di ' tutup '.. Hopefully our love grow strong and more understanding between us!!.. Im waiting for the others pict to be uplod by the Them.. Lambat!! haa!

Want & Need ??

Susahkan nak ambil hati orang.. Huh! im in blues again.. dunno why but till now this loneliness wont go from my life... I miss someone.. He seems too far away even we talked & sms'in everyday.. i want more but he seems dont want to give it.. i feel like im burdening him.. Should i stop now..?? The more i force the more pain i get.. im scared that i cant force myself again.. i feel like wanna rest from all this.. everytime i ask wether this LOVE still in myself.. and guess wat its EMPTY inside my heart.. i try to be what he want.. i try to be someone.. but, huh! i FAILED!! if only i can STOP and turn the time back mybe no one of us will suffer.. God, give me clue.. i dunno what i should do now.. im going crazy!!! did he know what inside myself now?? did he know how hard im now?? Did he know that he hurt me a bit?? Did he know that i miss him?? ~ I dont think so He know all that.. coz all he know is im a BORED person!! Right??
i dont like the way he treats me.. the way he says things to me... its 1 year 2 month and i can count how many " I LOVE U" and " I MISS U" he ever says to me this few month.. Am i really annoying?? Tell me please so that i can leave ... Im tired holding.. im not happy if he dont happy.. Please God, show me any kind of way.. Amen.


p/s : The Plan is coming in less 2 weeks.. Am i really ready? Am i really choose the right choice?? this question keep coming to me lately.. Whatever it is i hope that im in a right way.. I knew it.. If only i have to be regreted next i accept it.. Because this is what i want.. I just Need a bit understanding.. a bit care... a bit Love.. an the rest i leave it to god.. Huh! Tears coming down!.. dunno why feel so sad tonite... all i know is im lonely..

~ 12th Years Aniversary! ~

[05th October 1999 - 05th October 2011 ]

You're, in a better place
Sitting, next to the lord
Where you once said,
You were ready to take your place
Next, to the lords in his heavenly grace.

I think of you daily
It’s, so hard not to cry,
I know I will be okay,
Because, I feel you near by.

Rest in Peace Dad for I will see you soon.
God has blessed me with a father like you.
All that you taught me will live on in my children and I thank the Lord for having you as my father.

I love you Dad, It was an honor to have you as my father....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

12th years has gone... but still you remain strongly in Our heart..

We miss U pa...

We miss all your Joke..

We miss your laughter..

Your smile..

and mostly everything you've cooked...

Everything changed since you go..

how i miss my childhood When you're still around..

Lately i cry a lot.. so many problems come and i dunno how to face it...

i wish you're here.. telling me what to do..

Thanks so much Pa..

For everything u have done to my life..

Im sorry for all the bad things i ever do..

We Love and Miss you so much!!