~ LONELINESS ~

im feeling alone.. Lonely!! and Him happy outside there.. i wish im with him now but seem he dont want me to be there. Huh!! Biar la.. i have to learn to be alone sometimes.. feeling how the loneliness again... Sakit hati.. thats what i feel now.. dunno why.. God, make me strong!! Give me that patience.. bring me strength to accept everything happen around me..

He asked me wether i wanna go there... of course i really wanna go but i sengaja ask him to decide for me.. and he say ' No need la, takut u boring '... i felt like wanna shout and throw that phone!! and suddenly says they got family meeting.. so mean ada 'minum2'... Hate!!!!!! i hate it!!!!! kenapa suka sangat buat benda yang i benci!!.... Ko x pernah pun mo kesah pasal feeling saya!!! i always pray to have that patience but dont blame me if i cant hold it anymore.. sa benci mo larang2 ko coz itu buat hati sa lagi sakit..!! u know that?? Arghhh!!!! Whatever!!!

Bila Perbualan terasa semakin Hambar.

Hello Nighty!!!.. Cant sleep.. and im here.. its seem like im going back to sleepless nite which is always ended in BLOG...

Long time didnt update it!.. Huh, dunno why but as i says before im bored with it..

But today i cant help but siting infront of my computer writing this post.

i feel lonely.. dunno why suddenly but i felt no one!..seems like im all ALONE.. im missing the old Him.. i want to go back to the 1st day...

The conversation become bored.. i know mostly its because of me.. but honestly i dont have any feel to talk.. theres always one word that stoping all my moods.. Whatever!!! Argghh!!! Hate sleeping with this feeling... Maybe we have to stop night conversation for a while.. im tired holding this feels.. So, sorry..:(

I hate when everytime im the one hv to be blamed for something.. i miss his nicely voice but everytime pun macam mo marah2.. Haizzz.. Part yang paling buat i rasa nak off jak pon tu.. Kalau boleh you have to pretend you hear what he say.. Understand what he mean.. not to talk complicated story... you cannot says 'Hah?" What?" Why?"... sometimes i hate asking him coz i dont like the way he answer me.. bikin hilang mood...

Huh! Im sleepy.. i want to go to bed now.. forgeting this lonliness.. Hopefully i can smile and laugh with his joke today.. i miss him so much.. especially our early days.. Gud Night A.K.A Gud morning Everyone.. Have a nice dream!!

~ Happy 1st Aniversary Hubby!! ~

times flies so fast!! and today we've been together for 1 year!!.. i cant believe that i can make it.. Bravo!!..hee..

We been through so many UPS and DOWN but we're still close to each other.. learning to know each other... and i love to know more about him day by day.. and thanks to Him to for giving me that chance to show him who i am.. i have the chance to shared everything about me.. the chance to take care for him.. i know im not that good.. but i'll promise to improve day by day..

Thanks Hubby for not judging me for the 1st time u know me..

Thanks for making me believe that my past is totally WRONG!!..

Thanks for accepting all my bad, Understanding even sometimes i feel nothing..

For this 1 year i know how to shared my things to others.. U make me feel that im not alone..

we shared everything, we argue with small matter, we cry, we angry, we happy & sad..

Since im with you i learn to be patient, controling my anger even sometimes u makes me more anger with you attitude... but everytime i feel it i told to myself to calm down even its really hurt.. But Thanks god we did it!!!... LOVE YOU MUCH Si Hubby!!!

Now i cant wait for October to come!!! yess!! its Our engagement Day.. wish everything went smooth and the Day will be Our best memori and i cant wait to have you PERMANENTLY!!!

p/s: To My Past i dunno why suddenly you come to my mind today.. Not becoz i missing you but becoz today i realise that i hate YOU the person that i know as a friend.. everything about you just make me wanna shut down all the connection.. im feeling to forget you forever.. Now, i wanna told to my self that everything you ever say about me is WRONG!! and i forgive you coz i know that you never know about me that time.. all your feels that time is FAKE.. i keep telling my self about that.. Hopefully TODAY you know how to appreciate others especially GIRL rather than judging Them and making them believe that they are tottaly BAD! you never know how that feels.. im Praying ur Happiness hopefully SHE is what 'im not'.. CARING!!

Sakit Bila kebenaran bukan itu.

ari ni kawan i call.. just cerita kisah2 lalu.. erm.. dia memang akan cerita hal tu tiap kali kol i..

entah knapa hati marah bila dengar cerita yang slama ini saya asyik ingin tahu.. KENAPA??.baru hari ini saya tahu kebenaran cerita di sebalik hati Dia dahulu.. sampai hati dia kata macam tu.. tapi biar la.. the time for us already END and i already throw away all the things, feels and whatever i ever know about him...! Past is past rite?.. but why suddenly he makes me mad!!!... whatever!!!

" Dulu sa berabis mo dapat dia, tapi slps sa dapat dia sa rasa dia cam lain daripada sebelum ni"... i feel wanna cry, its show that he never wanna try to accept me.. huh!!! silly you Rain!! knapa mo kesah pasal hal ni lagi... Go Away la PAST!!! i Hate you more now..

~ IM MEETING THE MEMORY ~

" It takes a long time to grow an Old Friend "

Dear God,

Thank You For blessing me with this special people..

The one that ever be myside.. comforting me.. making me happy..

Today im asking you to take Care all of them no matter where they are..

Help them to seek their own happiness, success in their job & life..

Amen..!

[ i found this Video when i try to delete all my Old email on yahoo.. A friend send this to me 2 years ago.. i felt so happy! Dunno why.. But all i can say is i miss all of them.. Haizz!! Times flies so past and today everyone of them is somewhere under the rainbow.. Hahahaha! Masing2 dengan kehidupan... ]

~ I Promise ~

Well i'll will be there for you,

when you need someone well i'll be that one,

Well i'll do all my best to protect you,

When the tears get me all right,

Well i'll be the One that's by your side..

Chorus:

Well i'll be there When you call me in the middle of the night,

i will keep the rain from falling down into your eyes,

( I promise ) I promise,

( I promise ) I promise i will,

When You're sick i'll take care of you,

take your darkest night and make it bright for you,

Well i'll be there to make you strong and to lean on,

When this world has turned so cold,

well i'll be the one that's there to hold,

** Repeat Chorus 2x **

And i'll Love you more everyday,

and nothing will take that love away,

when you need someone,

i promise i'll be there for you,

There for you..

** Repeat Chorus **

I promise...

I promise...

When you call me..

I promise...

I promise i will..