..HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MAMA!!..

Besok ari ibu!!... Yeah!!

semalam tetiba teringat pasal mama i... tetau kenapa sebak jak hati.. sedih..!

" God, im a bad daughter!!"

first ayat yang terkeluar dari konti suara i.. dan terus terang i nangis dalam gelap..tetau la kazen i sedar ke tak..tak kisah la.. dah la malam semalam i memang EMO gila.. gaduh dengan

En. Ronald lagi... huh!! sakit hati sangat2!! Sorry Dear, my Bad!!

Mungkin perubahan hormon ( Datang bulan punya pasal) yang buat i rasa nak marah jak dalam seminggu ni..semua benda tak kena langsung dengan mood i...kalau boleh setiap minit i nak marah orang... kasihan mereka yang ada di sisi i masa tu.. tak pasal2 kena marah free2..

Sori Adik2 ku.. i tak sengaja..

Besok Hari Ibu! ~ Hati Berdebar2.. tetau kenapa.. walaupun i ni bukan la jenis yang rapat dengan mama i.. jarang sekali bercerita.. kekadang just bertanya kabar yang biasa2 jak.. kekadang cemburu tengok sesetengah kawan yang boleh buat mama derang macam kawan.. tapi i?? tetau la.. mungkin dah terbiasa dari kecil.. i suka buat hal sendiri... lagipun mama tegas sangat tem kitaorang kecil2..nak manja2 pun susah..thats why kenapa sekarang i lebih suka berdiam diri... tapi itu tidak bermakna yang i tak pernah kisah pasal dia... She is number one in my heart..cuma mungkin cara i berbeza.. Orang akan kata i ni x rapat dengan mama i..tapi terus terang hati i memang rapat dengan dia... i sayang dia sangat2..

She is beautiful & Stronger!!.. no one can beat her! i adore her! how she manage to make us alive alone!! she was only 34 yrs old when dady left us.. and she have to raise 5 of us.. our life was really terrible that time.. but still we survive till now.. ! Thank MUM!! i appreciate everything you ever do to us! ~ Im so sorry for being a bad daughter!! Forgive me!!

Nanti petang nak balik kampung..nak celebrate HARI IBU dengan family member.. tak sabar..!

So, You all da plan ke nak buat apa ngan mama masing2 esok??.. Hee..

Jan lupa wish dia ye..!!

Last but not least!! ~ ' HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ' to all my family members especially to my beloved MAMA, My cute Odu sarabun.. My Sister or Mummy Si Jayden.. My Friends.. My Bf's Mother & Sisters.. My schoolmate who already become MUMMY and not forget all the BLOGGERS!! ~ God Bless You All!!! We Love you all MAMA!!

p/s: Today cannot dating with Him!! wait for me Tommorow Hubby! Starting missing you already! So sorry for last nite..! Love You!!

..WHATEVER GIRL!!..

im on FB just now..and i recognise something!! Did she block me again???..WHY??

but when i check my BF fb she is still there??..weird?? angry with me??..why?? WHATEVER!!

I DONT CARE!!!! you maybe got another reason but im not going to be that nice again! there's no more NEXT girl!!.. Do what you want!!

huh! She distrub my mood today..! if you think that is the best then do it!!...btw, im not that close to you...so your right if you wanna do that..but why only me? Do i make you angry? Tell me..Blocking someone without reason is a coward action when at the same time we know each other!..

( i dunno why i get angry knowing her might blocking me..maybe this is the 2nd time.. so NEXT i have to says sorry coz i have to remove you from my friendlist..)

P/s: i just check my FB and she is there already! should i gave her another one chance!? ~ Luckily im not that mean! i'll Give him another chance!

..It's KAAMATAN..!

" Pemahaman Budaya - Ke Arah Kegemilangan (BM) "

"Kopirotian Id Koubasanan - Ralan Koburuon (DUSUN)"

" Cultural Understanding - The Way Foward ( ENGLISH) "

[ Tema Kaamatan 2011 - Dalam 3 Bahasa]

MAY is such a 'beautiful' month for every people in sabah...

they starting to let themself busy for any activities in this month..

its because KAAMATAN DAY is coming..its also known as HARVEST FESTIVAL..

honestly im no really know what the real meaning of this festival..

i only know a little bit about it..the most interesting things about kaamatan and been waiting for everyone especially for all the girls in sabah is UNDUK NGADAU...something like beauty contest but they are wearing the tradisional costume and the winner called HUMINODUN..here is the link about the LEGEND OF HUMINODUN which i took from JASON JAY BLOG.. you all can see many pictures of all the HUMINODUN through the years..

TUARAN/TAMPARULI district begin their Kaamatan festival 1st May this year which is been held at TUN HAMDAN HALL, TAMPARULI...and i was there that time..hee..

i force my BF to go there..haa..and he ended it saying 'OK' but with his ' mau tidak mau' face..Huh! whatever la..

We reach TAMPARULI around 2pm and its raining so heavy...and there's no parking!!..

we have to make 3 round at the pekan just to find the park and luckily we find one which one is nearer to the place.. we all says 'Thanks God!" ..haa.. we are really excited...and honestly its my 1st time joining the district celebration...all the times i only manage to celebrate the kampung's..hee..

The hall is full but we still try to let ourself in..men paksa!..hahhaha! and the UNDUK NGADAU competition is just begin...they are all beautifull!! CHECK here to see all the contestant or just go to this BLOG..

Now, every district busy finding their UNDUK NGADAU to represent in State Level Kaamatan Festival at the end of the month 30th - 31th of May 2011 at KDCA, PENAMPANG..

and of course i cant wait to see the next HUMINODUN..3 weeks more to come..!

So, Sabahan lets Enjoy this festival..! ARAMAITEE!!!..

Sabahan who is outside sabah please comeback that day and join us!!..Rugiii!!..haa..

P/s: its true my BF doesnt enjoy that day..kena paksa kan..huh! whateverla..

..Sakitkan Bila RINDU datang melawat HATI..

[When i miss you, i dont want to go far...i just have to look inside my heart coz thats the only place i can found you..]

i miss that Guy again..just talk to him two hours ago..
even i dont really like the conversation bt still thats 'feed' my loneliness today..

feel a little bit angry..bored...unstatisfied...
its all becoz that small matter...
my mood gone..feel like 'HUH! ~ WHY SHOULD BLAME ME..'
suddenly feel 'gerigitan'..
hilang trus tu mood mau minta kana sayang2...

But, luckily its not effect my feels too much...
i still can control it..
.i manage to handle it ( terpaksa berdiam diri..tunggu Dia yang start becakap..)
if not memang i dah off phone tu..
huh! Rindu kekadang menyakitkan...!
bila ia tidak terluah dengan hati yang gembira..
LOVE challenge my days every second..
Sabarkan separuh dari iman..hee..!
Tak kisah la Rain...:)
The most important now is accepting each others imperfection..
i know and really sure that we will manage it ..Coz, we love each other..
HOPEFULLY!!

..I KNOW ITS ONLY BEEN A FEWS DAY I LAST SAW YOU BUT IT ALREADY FEEL LIKE ETERNITY FOR ME..SO I SIT DOWN AND COUNT THE TIME I GET TO SEE YOU AGAIN..

I MISS YOU, HUBBY!!

i want to ignore that small matter but so sorry coz sometimes i cant do that..

P/S: The worst things to have lappy at home..i ended it with blog and never care about the time..and now its 11.47pm and my eyes still open wide..so Fresh!..
i say i want to sleep already 2 hours ago to Him..but, im still here..
Pa2 pun i nak paksa mata kiut i ni tido..if not gurantee tommorow morning will yawning every second..hahahha!
Gud Nite everyone..MUAXXX! for my Hubby..

..I Care For YOU..

rasa sakit ati belum ilang lagi...dari semalam cuba nak cool down tapi i gagal..

huh! sakit kan bila kita tak dapat nak lepaskan semua kemarahan yg ada dalam diri..

menangis pun tidak dapat menenangkan hati i..

semalam rasa nak lempar jak handphone kat dinding..biar hancur berderai..!

i bukan nak jadi queen control..kalau boleh i tak nak ambik tahu pun apa yg awak buat..

but i cant! coz i care everything about you..

what you do...where are you..everything!

becoz i do love you more than i ever think..

kalau boleh i tak nak miss satu hal pun yang berkaitan dengan awak..

So, please do care my feelings too... i tak mau lebih..i just nak you bagitahu i aktiviti you..

im so sorry..maybe kali ni i tegas sikit..bukan nak tunjuk ego..tapi i nak you tahu yang tahap kesabaran i ada batasnya.. i penat tau layan feeling i sendiri..pujuk diri sendiri..

i dont want to change you..biar you yang change diri you sendiri.. tapi boleh kah cuba untuk jaga hati i.. i bukan manja.. i bukan nak minta perhatian tapi nak u tahu yang i ni ambil berat tentang semua hal yang berlaku antara kita.. i tak mau benda remeh temeh macam hal semalam buat kita jauh...

i know its not easy to let all that go... dun wori i always be here to help you..all i need is your responsibilities... we change 1 by 1...

kalau boleh i tak nak benda lain ganggu relationship kita.. im scared ok.. everytime its haunted me.. i try my very best not to push you hard but so sorry the feelings always make me fell down..

sampaikan im more sensitive with all you do..apa lagi kalau itu adalah sesuatu yang i tak suka.. Sorry... im really a bad GF..!

i just want simple yet memorable a.k.a romantica relationship...(^_^)v

kalau boleh i tak mau hubungan yang penuh dengan stress.. Boleh ka??..

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Sorry if i always like this...

Sorry if i just wrote rather than saying this to you..

coz i know only tears will tell you all.. my bad! ~

p/s: i just need an understanding!..nothing else..i know nobody is perfect so do i..but i just need someone to care a little bit about my feels.. Love you Hubby!..

~ I'm scared again..~

..im emo again..huh! it's started worrying me..

so many question disturbing me..

im too easy to thinking negative..

im scared with so many things..until i dunno what it is..

Dont ask me why..coz i dunno what it is...

i just need rest!.. too many things in my head now..

job..new job..money..family..him..The Plan..

i easily get angry for something that i know they dont mean it..

i keep asking..blaming my ownself..

"maybe i should do this.."

" maybe i should do that.."

this is what always bothering me..

there is always ' MAYBE ' in my mind..

But what bother me more is Him..

~ ( i know u always read my post..just read it..dont ask me again)~

why?...since i know what love is..i always dreaming to find someone who can be with me no matter what.. Sharing my happy days together...

its mean i want him be with me whenever i want it..

Honestly, sometimes i wish he'll do it even i never ask him..

mean i want him want to be with me even i didnt ask..

i didnt mean he is like that..but sometimes yeah..He is..

everytime i dunno whether i want to invite him or not if i got event with my family..

becoz i know i will feel upset.. but i try to accept it..

thinking positive..ya maybe i have to be slow down..

dont push im hard..let him take his time to be ready..

its ok with me.. the more i ask the more things to be complicated..

just be positive!!..

i wont force him if he dont want..i just wanna learn to just ' TAKE IT EASY'

thats the only way for us to stay strong in love..:)

i hope so!!..

i dont want to be like last time..

forcing him..! i want this relationship less stress..bule ka begitu??..hee..

i'll do my best to saved this..

i know im scared loosing him but i'll fight till i know i cant!!

i really love this relationship!!..i dont want to think any bad influence now..

~ Biarlah sakit macam mana sekali pun saya akan terus berusaha.. Cemburu , tidak puas ati.. Geram or marah akan saya buang sikit2 ~

p/s: En.Ronald im scared with every little possible that might ruin this relationship.. Sorry, if im too much..Love you every breath that come from me..